Deciding to Stop Breastfeeding

I'm going to post about deciding to stop breast feeding because I couldn't find hardly anything at all about deciding to stop breastfeeding on the web.  (I posted on dogs and alcohol for the same reason, and my blog post on it Stormy's Corner: No Drinks for Dogs! is not only one of the most popular posts on my blog but it's also the top search result for dogs and alcohol on the web.)  As much information as there is on the web, some topics are very hard to find!

I decided to stop breastfeeding after a month and while I was considering it, I searched the web extensively.  While there is a ton of extremely helpful information on breastfeeding on the web, it is all centered around solving any problems you might have, not in making a decision one way or the other.  (And if it is about making a decision, they spend pages and pages telling you how good breastfeeding is for your child.)  There's also no information about, when you decide to quit, exactly what you are supposed to do.  Stop cold turkey?  Gradually phase it out? I did find three pages of information on stopping breast feeding:

• Ending breastfeeding.  This poor woman had obviously already decided to stop breastfeeding (a hard decision!) and the expert answering her email first questioned why she'd made the decision.  The expert did answer her question about how to stop breastfeeding and said to gradually wean the baby by cutting out a feeding every day or two.
• Life After Weaning: Ending the breastfeeding relationship.  This was actually the most helpful webpage.  It's an excerpt from a book and actually talks about both the physical and the emotional effects on the mother and the emotional effects on the child.  (Note that the emotional effects on the child tend to be largely those that breastfeed for several years.  It doesn't talk about the effects on an infant.)
• ending breastfeeding....what happens? This was a very short discussion between moms about what happens.  Like the previous article it suggests weaning slowly and points out that you should never completely drain your breasts if you want your milk to dry up.

Deciding not to breastfeed is a very hard decision because while nobody says it's wrong not to breastfeed, the minute you become pregnant you are inundated with literature and people telling you how good breastfeeding is for your child and offering all sorts of support.  (In particular the hospital staff and nurses were awesome.  They were extremely supportive, very helpful and offer all sorts of free services to help and encourage nursing moms.)  And when I asked friends and family what they thought everyone was very careful not to say anything one way or the other.  Although all offered support either way!  And many pointed out that there are plently of healthy children and adults who were not breastfed.

So why did I decide to quit?  It wasn't health reasons, it wasn't because I couldn't nurse Caleb and it wasn't because Caleb wouldn't nurse.  (Those seem to be the "acceptable" reasons to give for stopping breastfeeding.)  I quit for many reasons, although it basically boiled down to the fact that I didn't like it.  Here are the reasons I didn't like it, pretty much in order of importance to me:

• Time.  It was extremely time consuming.  During the day Caleb wanted to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours.  And he ate for 30 minutes.  So that means that 25-30% of my waking day was spent feeding him.  That's a lot of time!  And planning around that is very difficult.  (And it's really hard to pump milk so that you can leave him with someone else for an hour or two when you are already nursing all the time.  We ended up using formula in those cases and Caleb didn't seem to mind going back and forth at all.)
• Worry.  I was always worried he wasn't getting enough to eat (why did he want to eat so often!) or that what I was eating or drinking might affect him.  (How many diet coke's should you drink?  Probably none, right?  So what about the two you just drank?)  And it turns out he probably wasn't getting as much in the afternoon as he wanted because he's much less fussy now.  But the doctor said he was getting plently because he was sleeping 4-5 hours at night and gaining plenty of weight. 
• Sore nipples.  A month is a really long time to have sore nipples.  And yes, he was latching on and eating correctly.  I think just feeding him 30% of all waking hours made them sore.  I'm sure eventually they would have toughened up.

Of course I have doubts and regrets.  Most of them centered around the health benefits.  Breastfeeding is supposed to help kids' immunity and decrease their long term odds of obesity.  Those are the two I worried about the most.  But I'm confident that there are lots of other factors that also influence Caleb's health and the two of us being happy is one of them!  (I realized I never talked to him when I was nursing him except to wake him up continuously and to ask him if he was done yet.  When I feed him a bottle I talk to him the whole time and it's fun!)

I feel a little bit like I'm airing my personal diary in this post, but I wanted to make the information I found available to others and I wanted to add my own experience and decision to the pool of knowledge so that others might feel more comfortable making a decision one way or the other.

Comments

[andi]

thanks so much for the info. this was very helpful. I am considering stopping breastfeeding after 1 week and for the same reasons you were. I am feeling guilty and your thoughts were very real and I could relate to them.

[Brandi]

reading this post was like seeing all of my thoughts written out. Your experience is exactly how I am feeling. Completely and totally overwhelmed by the time I spend breastfeeding and ultimately really depressed as I feel defeated by it. The more depressed I get the less milk she gets despite my 40 minute feedings, which means we have a crabby, hungry, crying baby. It is a frustrating cycle. I think as guilty as I feel for wanting to switch after only 3 weeks being happier will make me a better mother in the long run. My only concern at this point is that I will still be unhappy after switching even though I am positive this is the core of the problem right now?
Thanks again for your honesty!!!

[Amy]

Thank you so much for posting this! I just decided to stop breastfeeding after 3 weeks b/c i really didn't like it and i was always worried about what i was eating. I felt guilty making the decision but i knew it was the best thing for me to do, which made my baby happier b/c i was. Thanks again.

[Jennifer]

I was so happy to see that someone else feels the same way I do. I am an RN and was taught since nursing school how great breast milk is for babies. The one thing they never mention is that it just isn't for some people. I know the health benefits for my son. I teach them. But my health, as far as sleep deprivation and never any time to eat right, was going down hill. My mental health as well was suffering. Anyone I would talk to would just say that is the sacrifice you have to make. I was sacrificing being a happy, nice, playful mommy. When you mentioned not interacting with your baby when feeding, it struck a nerve! I was always sooooo tired and crying when feeding I am sure my son thought "who is this crazy person?". I bought a pump to try to pump and bottle feed instead, my son didn't seem too mind, but then I felt like a cow milking herself every 3 hours, let alone the trouble of cleaning all those pump supplies. I have felt so bad about myself for a while and gave out excuses to people of why I quit, now since I know I am not alone, I will proudly say I stopped to be a better mommy. It is what works for me. -Jennifer and Bryan(3 months old)

[Stormy]

Andi, Brandi, Amy, Jennifer,

Thanks for sharing your stories!

I think being happy moms is very important for our babies!

Stormy

[JoAnn]

I too had trouble finding information about stopping breastfeeding online or anywhere else for that matter. It wasn't until I had stopped that I came across a couple of women in my town who had similar problems. I cried for days when I had to stop. I wanted to continue but my husband was adament I stop after 10 days of torture. I also cried for days feeding my son before I stopped. Sore nipples was an understatement. I would cry in pain as my son woke up just knowing I had to feed him. It didn't help I had a UTI since Jacob had been born that went undiagnosed until AFTER I had quit breastfeeding. I was sick on top of being unbelievably sore. It wasn't good for him or for me. I still feel guilty about bottle feeding him and I guess a part of me always will. It's nice to know I'm not alone though.

[Bobbi]

I have to admit that I have had the same feelings that you have expressed on this page. I have been breastfeeding for the last 6 weeks and I have just switched to formula to see if my baby's behaviour would improve. She has been extrememly fussy lately and never seemed to get enough milk in the evenings. I wish that I knew how much she was getting while I nursing but of coarse that is a mom's worst fear - "Is she getting enough?" She is already sleeping better, she is a lot less fuzzy, and she is very happy during her alert periods. I have also been pumping the past day or so to try to get an estimated amount of how much milk she was receiving, not very much in the evenings, so I made the right the decision for the both of us. Guilt? Of coarse I will feel a little guilty for "giving up" concidering we had a lot of obstacles to overcome in the beginning but the emotional state of this household had to improve. The more my baby would fuss and puke, the more I would be worried she was not getting enough and then she would not sleep and continue to want to be on the breast ALL day so I became very frustrated with nursing. So thanks again, your information was very helpful as well as the comments from other women. It's very nice to know that we are not alone....or wrong in any way.

[Stormy]

It is great to hear there are other women facing the same dilemna. Before I posted the only people I met that stopped were those that couldn't breastfeed or never started. So it's great to hear from women who are having some of the same feelings that I did.

[Jaime]

Thanks for all the great info. I am experiencing the same feelings of being overwhelmed, mostly because I just don't have the time it takes to feed my daughter as often as she would like. She is 6wks old and I would like to stop. I have been replacing some of the feedings with formula, but at what point do you stop? As it is now with just replacing a few of the feedings I am becoming engorged, and would like to just bite the bullet and let it dry up. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[Stormy]

Jaime,

If you cut back on feedings, your milk supply should go down so you aren't engorged. It might take a couple of days. You could also try pumping instead of feeding her formula. (If you pump, your supply will not go down though so you'll have to keep pumping.)

If you decide to just quit, your breasts should go back to normal in 2-3 days. I found it easiest just to quit but I wish I had tried just feeding my baby a couple of times a day. That works for some women; others find they dry up if they go down to just two or three feedings a day.

Good luck with whatever decision you make!

Stormy

[Stephanie]

I have been trying to find information for the past two weeks on exactly how long you should breast feed if you know you are not going to endure the whole year they recommend. I have never had physical problems with breast feeding. Baby latches on, great milk supply, never sore breasts, hardly any leaking, great work environment allows pumping, etc.., However as my baby starts to interact with other family members i.e. my husband and mother I see a difference in his personality. He smiles laughs and coos with them. Any time I hold him he starts searching for my boobs and throws a fit if I do not immediately breast feed. I started supplementing (he is 6 weeks old)he will finish a whole 4 to 6 oz and still the same thing. I feel like my only bond with him at this point is a milk supply and this is frustrating. So I have decided to start to wean him and try and skip more and more breast feedings progressively. My husband is very upset by this choice and I am trying to explain the feelings and reasons, but he doesn't understand. I hope to have a deeper bond to my son once my milk supply dries up. Thank for posting this and for expressing other reasons for giving up breast feeding. --

[L]

I think your post is not just airing your personal feelings but airing the feelings of many. I breastfed my 1st child for 3 weeks and we both cried through every feeding. Giving it up was so hard for me. Now, with my 2nd child I got off to a much better start, but still hated it and so did the baby. Now I'm giving him formula and I'm sure it will make us both happier although the guilt I feel is awful and I echo many of your feelings. All I can say is that as long as you have happy babies then that's what counts.

[Dario's Mom]

Thank you SO much for posting this! I also could not find anything on the web and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one out there...I've never been able to produce enough milk and have been on meds from day 1 to help with it, but the best I can do is make enough for his daytime feedings and supplement with formula at night...My son is colicky and has some allergy/tummy issues, so his formula is hypoallergenic and costs an arm and a leg as it only comes in small containers--basically it works out to $5 a night to feed him this stuff...Initially, he'd scream when I tried to nurse him if my milk didn't let down right away, would fall asleep a couple minutes into it (I couldn't wake him for the life of me) and then never finish his feeding, so after a week I bought a pump and have been bottlefeeding him his milk the majority of the time and then topping him up by nursing afterwards...For the past couple weeks now he's been refusing to nurse at all, so I've been laying awake at night in between feedings going over why I SHOULD continue pumping (his allergy/tummy issues, immune benefits, cost of formula, etc.)...I'm now only making enough milk for 2 (3 at best) daytime feedings and each session takes an hour...I finally realized today just before I found this that the majority of the past 14 weeks have been spent trying to pump to maintain his daytime feedings and cleaning/sterilizing the parts--this has become increasingly more difficult as he's more active now and my husband is a police officer who works shiftwork with very long hours some days...I've been missing out on spending all that time with him! So to hell with the breast is best nazis and the cost--I've done the best that I can! Thank you Stormy, your posting and the others that followed have finally brought me tears of relief, not sadness and given me permission to stop! :)

[Renna]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this information. I had my son 3 1/2 months ago. He was 7 weeks early (I had preclampsia) and he is doing just great. He was in the hospital for 17 days and I tried to breastfeed, but he just could not latch on - so I pumped, pumped and pumped some more. He learned to latch on after about a month, but quickly got confused between the breast and bottle and would get extremely cranky. My whole world has become him and when to pump again. I wanted to give him all the breastmilk I could but I still had to add formula for the added calories they wanted me to give him since he started out so small (3 lbs 10 oz.) I decided that I wanted to stop breastfeeding, but had no idea how to go about it. All I could find out about the topic was how wonderful it is to breastfeed, but not how to go about it. I am so glad that I found your information and it is nice to know that there are other women going through the same mental "tug-of-war" about should I or should I not continue to supply breastmilk. Thanks again for the encouragement and information.

[Alicia]

I'm 20 years old and completely torn about breastfeeding my husband is 22 and we're young parent's. It's very hard for me to keep from crying while making this decision. I had my baby girl February 27th, 2007 she was 3 weeks early and had a lil trouble breathing at first and was a tiny bit jaundice. In the hospital they first gave her formula so she could breath better and I was trying to breastfeed her also, but she wasnt getting enough colostrum so we used one of those sns kits.Right now I'm not having alot of problems feeding her on the breast she latches good when she wants too but I honestly prefer pumping.I just feel that they both take alot of time and my pediatrician told me to give her formula every other feeding anyways.My husband wants me to keep breastfeeding and keeps saying its natural,yes breastfeeding is natural, but me being sad while doing it isn't. My mother who had 7 kids and breastfed all of them, also keeps saying "oh look at all the milk you pump" and compares me to my sister who didnt get much from pumping but still breastfed for 3 months but she also gave my neice formula and she got collicky and cried soo much.I'm scared that might happen if I stop but my baby reacts well to formula when I give it to her she's not a fussy baby at all sleeps good isn't gassy doesn't cry much.I just honestly don't know what to do I feel like a bad motherand I'm under alot of pressure.I don't know if it's because of my age or because of postpartum depression I wouldn't give up my baby for anything. I fear that if I stop she's gonna get sick or the SIDS risk increases that scares me to death. I have such anxiety over this and am ashamed to talk to my doctor cause I know she has a 9 month old and is still breastfeeding or my mom or sisters I have 3 of them and they all have kids someone help please any advice I'll take I don't want to be sad and guilty anymore.Bottom line is I don't have any problems breastfeeding I just am not happy doing it. Is that wrong? Am I a bad mother?

P.S. Sorry this post is soo long and I keep rambling

[Stormy]

Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor. She knows better than anybody that everyone is different and while she can't and shouldn't make the decision for you, you should hear her opinion and any concerns or advise she has.

[midwife and mama]

wow. alot of pain and frustration out there.all over something as natural as breathing. how sad.my advice; i am a midwife amd mum, breastfeeding my 2yo girl. i have worked with alot of australian aboriginal women who never have any breastfeeding problems. I'm talking real bush mamas here!they breastfeed like animals, gracefully. Most breastfeeding problems in the western world are caused by inhibition and over analysing things, rather than simply slinging the baby on the breast and getting on with life. what do you think would have happened to the human race over the course of evolution if there truly are so many mums and babies who "breastfeeding just doesnt work for"?we would have died out, of course.my position on breastfeeding is rooted in understanding and respect for the physiological norm in infant feeding. Formula is full of shit and should be available on prescription only from lactation consultants. i would go so far to assert that formula feeding is at best neglectful, at worst abusive.and loosen up!!!!!!!!do you have such trouble moving your bowels?

[Stormy]

Hi "Midwife and Mama"

While I agree that if I had lived in the time before formula, I would have kept breastfeeding my baby, I don't think it would have been any easier then. I would have experienced the same frustrations and pain. Now I have an alternative and I don't think it's bad to use it.

My grandmother breastfeed 11 babies, pumped all her own water, made all her food from scratch, washed all the dirty diapers and lived without a phone. I greatly admire her, but it doesn't mean I need to do the same.

Stormy

[Brittany]

I am considering stopping my baby from breastfeeding after just one month, for the same reasons you did. Actually she isn't breastfeeding she wouldnt take to my nipple, so I have been pumping for a month and she has been bottle feeding. So the physical attachment isn't there between me and her, but it is VERY time consuming because when she sleeps I am pumping so she can have a bottle for the next feeding. Anyways, I was wondering when you stopping breastfeeding, what kind of formula did you start the baby on. This is my first child so I am not sure what kind to use. If you have any advice just let me know. Thank you!

[Stormy]

We used Similac with iron and it worked out well but you should check with your pediatrician as well. I signed up for some list and now I get $5 check from them every month or so.

Good luck!

[Jill]

I think that what Stormy is talking about is a lot of guilt. Of course the human population wouldn't have continued had it not been for breastfeeding, I get that, but what we are forgeting is the change in societal make-up. We currently live in a culture not fit for parenting. Rather, most women work or need to work to sustain their families. In previous generations (not that long ago) we had "wet nurses" where if I was having a problem feeding my child or was sore, my child could have been fed by my sister, or cousin, etc. I think that we need to have a more open percpetion of what good mothering is. We are so hard on mothers and it's not fair. We all do the BEST we can for our children and that is all we can do. Let's not judge and recognize the differences in cultural settings. Stormy, I don't understand your stance. In one posting you are pro-breastfeeding because it is natural as bowel movements, and the next you are asking what kind of formula to buy.

[Jill]

I guess I didn't see until now how they listed the postings. I apologize Stormy!!! You weren't the one who posted about the aborigines.

[Ginny]

I have to say this is very encouraging to read. I have had the same problems that you were talking about in your post. My daughter wanted to eat all the time and my milk supply was never enough for her. When I did pump I could only get out about an 1 ounce of milk. Now that I have put her on formula she drinks between 3-4 ounces. For my sanity and my babies I think it was the best choice for me. My other problem was the fact that one of my breasts was supplying a lot of milk while the other one was not supplying hardly any. I think it is great to hear about other women who have gone through the same thing as I am going through. Thank you for your post!

[Heather]

Thanks so much. There is not anything out there except, BREASTFEEDING IS GREAT. Yeah it is great except when it drives you insane. I have had issues with breasfeeding since my son was born 1st i had clogged milk ducts (and people telling me I had no choice but to breast feed, and "pump just pump, you have got to get it to come out" I felt guilty and did that, which increased my supply but still nothing came out. Then my son went 14 hours with no food b/c i felt so guilty I couldn't remember the last time He actually ate.) The first week we were home was miserable the first few days I didn't even know I was clogged, so he did not get much food. He fussed so much we got "NO" sleep! We used formula but he is lactose intolerant (we dd not know) he was even fussier. I finally became so engorged it came out! RELIEF!! I started producing a ton of milk having to pump every 2 hours then feed him, clean the pumps clean the bottles clean him up clean myself up change him and then i could think about a possible snack or 5 min nap. (USUALLY IT DIDN'T HAPPEN) I spent every ounce of time feeding and cleaning him. ( I do Have other responsibilities!!) Then I started going down in milk production down down down to the point it was not enough. I'd had it! I told my husband I am done I cannot handle the emotional distress and time consumption. The Cherry on top of it all After I had him I had a Grade 3 Aductor strain (HORRIFIC PAIN) I could barely move and I am still recovering from it after a month. It still hurts to move and to sneeze to cough. I CAN'T HANDLE ANY MORE!!! I need sanity too. I won't rattle on any more except IT'S NOT PROPER TO SLING OUR CHILDREN ON OUR BREASTS AND WALK AROUND WE HAVE LAWS IN OUR COUNTRY!! I really don't care what the aborigines do, this is about women who want to stop breastfeeding and no we're NOT wusses. We want to be good mommies and that's what we are. THANKS FOR HELPING ME WITH MY Guilt stormy it has made my life easier!! Thanks!

[Florabora]

Thank you for this post. I'm considering giving up the little breasfeeding that I'm able to do. My baby is 5 months old, and from the time of his birth, bfeeding has been a pain. Seeing 4 lactation consultants, pumping 8 times (or 100 minutes) a day the first month to build up my supply, taking upteen fenugreek supplements (so many that I ended up smelling like maple syrup), taking banned medication to increase supply... all this and we still had to supplement with formula.

Please note, the ONLY way I was able to keep up with this manic schedule was because my husband was able to take off 6 weeks, and because I had 3 months at home. It was grueling, and I agree with the other posters who mentioned feeling distant from their children because they spent so much time pumping and cleaning the parts. In retrospect, I wish I had given up sooner.

Now, at 5 months, my son will only nurse for 10 mins, max, twice a day if I'm lucky. And he still gets 4-6 oz of formula after that.

We supplemented with formula from the first week home - since he went from 9.6 lbs down to 7.8 lbs - that really hurt, but I'm ok with this now. I still feel guilt - especially since my mother bfed us until we were over a year old - but at the same time, I think that there is more to life than this, and considering how many healthy people have been bottle fed, it should be fine in the end.

Congratulations to all of us for being the best mothers in the world to our children, and phooey to you to anyone who belittles us for our decisions.

[Jennifer]

I wanted to stop after one week and my husband was totally against it. We ended up exclusivly pumping. I bought an electric breast pump and loved it! I got the releaf I needed from being engorged and my son was still able to get breastmilk, only from a bottle instead of direct from the source. I pumped every 3-4 hours for 10-15min. This was enough to provide my son with milk for the day and some extra to freeze in case we were short one day. It still took some time, but not nearly as much as it would to spend half an hour every two hours nursing. The best part was that it didn't hurt at all, unlike nursing which really hurt! I still hated being hooked up to a machine, but it was simply a matter of not being able to afford formula. When he was 10 months old I just couldn't stand it any more and started supplementing with formula. I really, really, hated nursing...thank god for pumps!! Mine saved the day, although if we ever have another, I will insist on at least some formula from the begining. It's just way too much pressure otherwise.

[Maya]

I'm so thankful for this website you all have no idea! I had my son this past Saturday (so he is just a couple days old) and have been breast feeding with no pain just fine. The problem was that when I was "done", he would get up 40 min - 1 hr afterwards. This is very difficult with C-Section pain. Just taking care of yourself is enough. I cried so much! The nurses thought I was crazy. It kind of dawned on my from reading these postings that he kept me up, pretty much because he was not getting enough from our thousands of mini-breast feeding sessions. I was so determined to know how to do it right. I bothered every nurse and a lactaction specialist at the hospital! Today I noticed that when I tried to feed him, it was hurting; like he was biting instead of sucking. This evening, I was actually crying and yelping during a feeding. I felt my nipples (both) and they felt raw to the touch. I checked to make sure I was positioning him correctly and that he was latching on right, but that all checked out. The hospital gave me a free Similac bag with a bunch of free samples in it (I took it because it was free even though they knew I was breastfeeding) and I had bottles from showers because I knew that when I returned to work I would be pumping to bottle. I just had to resort to that. I couldn't take the pain! I was (and still am) heart-broken by having to do this but I guess this is not for me. I will miss out on all the benefits for my body and my son's. But I just HAD to start looking on line to see if others had to stop like me and why. Thank you so much Stormy for putting this out there. Your right! There is NOT enough information on this subject out there. Even though I was formula fed myself, it made me feel better about my decision to stop breast feeding and deal with my guilt. Thanks!!!

[rica]

i'm so glad to have found this site! could someone please tell me how to lessen the pain, especially when you're trying to stop expresing your milk via the pump machine? i'm doing a 3-hourly expressing of milk as of the moment to provide my daughter breastmilk. but i have come to a point that i need my sanity and want to enjoy the time with my daughter rather than spending all of my time expressing, cleaning the equipments and stuck at home so i could express for my daughter's next feed. please help!

[Sarah]

Thank you, thank you thank you!! It's fantastic to hear someone with vitually an identical story to mine. My son (also Caleb!) is 4 weeks old today and breastfeeding him has been a total nightmare. All the things you mentioned rung true for me, the frequent feedings, sore nipples (even though I know he was latching on right) and especially not talking to him during feeding. What I had been told would be this lovely bonding experience turned out to be the biggest source of frustration and guilt since he was born. It is lovely to hear that there are others (lots!) who feel the same way as me in that if we had loved feeding then it would have been ideal, however, don't want to be made to feel guilty when deciding to stop. I have come to the conclusion that what I am doing is not "giving up" but seeing it as the 4 weeks that I fed Caleb gave him a fantastic start, but now, a happier, more content mum and baby are much preferable. Maybe I can now start to enjoy my much wanted, much loved new baby.

[Anne Marie]

Thank you for this website. My daughter is 3 weeks old and we have struggled. I pump 8-10 times a day and do not produce enough to keep her fed (though she gets everything I pump from a bottle). She receives the rest in formula, which we started her on after my milk did not come in for many days. I never expected this to be so hard, but want to do what is best for her (of course!). I am sore from pumping and am struggling with work and the time it takes. Between work and the pumping, I hardly see her awake. I have seen the lactation consultant twice and am going again next week, but I am close to deciding this is not for me. I was never breastfed and agree that in today's world, we should take advantage of the options available. Still, it is hard with the guilt component. Thanks again for this site. All of the information is great! Best of luck to everyone out there.

[Julie]

Ladies - I hope you don't mind me adding my story as I have read so many of your posts and they take me back! I had a terrible time breastfeeding my son for the first six weeks - painful, relentless feeds that neither of us seemed to enjoy, and a baby who was not getting back to his birth weight - when I was at the end of my tether I was lucky enough to receive the help of a breastfeeding councillor, who turned it around for us. What I wanted to say was, he is now 7 1/2 months and we have continued breastfeeding until now, and I have cut his feeds down to one feed a day. The guilt I feel for wanting to stop now has been awful! I just wanted you all to know, that it seems to me that WHENEVER you decide to stop, for whatever reason....the guilt kicks in!!! I know I was very lucky in being able to sort our problems out and I hope if we have another baby I can make it work again....but one thing I have always remembered that was said to me in the beginning- 'no matter how many days you manage to breastfeed, for each day, you should pat yourself on the back'.
Good wishes to you all and all your babies x

[Connie]

So glad i found this site...I have been feeling so guilty for wanting to quit BF. All of my reasons are selfish (recurrent mastitis, and yeast infections, not to mention the sore swollen 'milk jugs' I carry around.) My husband is not overly thrilled that I want to stop but I am finding that I am getting more aggrevated each time I hook myself up to pump.I'm glad there are other moms out there like me who are going through the same thing. I have started weaning three days ago. i eliminated the 3:30am pumping which was easy because he sleeps through the night now at 11 weeks. Next week I am going to eliminate the afternoon pumping session and give him formula. i have enough milk frozen to last a month so I am going to alternate with frozen breastmilk and formula. I am going to buy Enfamil because that is what our hospital recommends.My breasts are soooo swollen though when I miss a session. Geese, and when I pump the next time I get almost 8-10 oz which really makes me feel guilty because I can produce so much. Hopefully next week the engorgement will cease. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Joanna]

I am also really glad to have found this site! From the beginning I've had trouble breastfeeding my son, who's now almost 4 months old. In the first few days I had him, he wouldn't latch on, and when he finally did (with the help of a lactation consultant), he would fall asleep 10 minutes into a feeding. He developed an unbelievable appetite at 2 weeks old (My milk wasn't filling him), and would feed every hour of the day if I let him. I tried pumping, but couldn't get enough time without him attached to one side or the other to pump sufficient quantities. He only gained 2 ounces per week in the first 4 weeks, and since he was only 6lbs at birth I was constantly worrying. At 4 weeks I started supplementing with a bottle per day, went up to 2 and then 3, and noticed a HUGE difference. Steady weight gain (he's now over 11lbs), better sleeps (for him and for me), and he's a happy baby! I feel so guilty about increasing his bottles and decreasing my breastfeeding time, but I know that it's for his health and my peace of mind, so when I feel guilty and sad (which I frequently do) I remind myself of that. Thanks for a great site!

[Joanna]

I just wanted to add that my son had trouble with formula at first. I had him on Similac Advance (he was supplemented with it in the hospital because my milk didn't come in until the fourth day after his birth), and I supplemented him with it until he was 2 weeks old, when I finally started producing milk and breastfeeding successfully. When I reintroduced him to it at 4 weeks, he was gassy, fussy and really unhappy. I switched to Carnation Goodstart with Omega 3 and 6 additives, and he had 4 good days (one bottle per) before he again had trouble. I switched him to regular Goodstart, and he's had no trouble since. I absolutely love this formula and so does he!

[mama and midwife.]

hello, it's me again. reading these stories while at work on the post natal unit, here in new zealand. I am finding it difficult understand how a process that has been honed by evolution over millenia can fail so easily.A few things stick out.1)frequent feedings. Every baby is different. there is no time or frequency a baby"should" feed for. watch for 6-8 wet nappies a day, and poo anywhere between every nappy or once a week for an exclusively bf baby.women, if it's coming out it must be going in. End of story. If they are weeing often they will be taking in enough calories to gain weight.growth spurts make babies demand hourly, to boost mum's supply. go with it.this happens every few weeks.for genuinely low supply, maxalon, an antiemitic, can help raise production,ask your dr.2)sore nipples;get checked for thrush on them.I can't believe american hospitals give out formula samples. That is illegal here.I feel so sad for you all, breastfeeding is the single best thing you can do for your children and yourselves.Inhibition is the enemy of breastfeeding. Take a serious look at yourselves.I mean that not in a spiteful way.trust the cave woman within.

[Stormy]

Breastfeeding is not the single best thing you can do for your children. There are lots of factors that go into raising healthy children and as a whole generation here was raised without breastfeeding, I think it's quite possible to raise healthy, happy children without breastfeeding.

Reading everyone's comments, they tried very hard to do the best for their babies. Speaking from personal experience, it's very, very hard to decide not to breastfeed. But it was my decision and it was the best one for me and my baby. My baby is now a very happy, healthy, bright and alert 7 month old and part of that is due to the fact that I quit breastfeeding so that I could be happy with him and for him.

I wrote this post because too many people say that you must breastfeed and obviously if it's not working for you it must be that you're doing something wrong. That's not the case and breastfeeding is not always an enjoyable experience for all mothers and babies. Every mother and baby needs to figure out what works for them.

I would strongly encourage breastfeeding but if it's not working, I don't think you should feel guilty for having to give it up.

[Lisa]

I wanted to put in my two cents. My baby is now 2 1/2 months old. I began pumping exclusively about two weeks after his birth for various reasons (sore nipples and never enjoying the act of breastfeeding are just two of them. If time is the major obstacle to breastfeeding, I would highly recommend pumping. I have used a hospital-grade Medella pump and it is WONDERFUL-I can completely empty both breasts in 10 minutes(however, it is costly to rent at $75.00 per month). I have tried to use some of the personal pumps you can buy, however these in general take way too long and I ended up taking 25 to 30 minutes to pump.
I am now considering weaning my baby to formula. I find that because I work about 50 hours per week it is very difficult to pump every 3-4 hours. And, dragging a hospital grade pump to and from work every day is a hassle. I must say that I feel some guilt about the thought of stopping...but I will make the decision that is right for myself, my family, and my situation. I figure that any amount of breastmilk is better than none at all!

[Amanda]

Thank you so much for this site! I haven't been able to find anything about this topic on the web - everything is pro-breastfeeding of course. I've been pumping exclusively since my son was 2 weeks old. He's now a happy, healthy 5 month old! I too feel like I've somewhat missed out due to all of the time and effort pumping brings. I've found myself supplementing more and more and debating to stop pumping at 6 months. I did read somewhere that most of the good things infants receive from bf is within the first 6 months anyway. Has anyone else heard anything like that?

[Stormy]

I had also heard that the first six months were the most important - six months was my goal when I started.

[JulieO]

To the Cave Woman Within - I can't quite believe what I have just read....I really don't think your words will help on a site like this. It's not clear whether you are a mother yourself...but I would like to think that if you have had breastfeeding experience that you would have posted a more supportive response be it good or bad, and not the practical medical claptrap you have written. There is a huge amount of pressure to breastfeed, and many many women feel terrible about being unable to or deciding not to - this site is testament to that. So tell me, in New Zealand, when you take your baby home, and after hours of trying to get your baby to latch on, and after tearful sessions of trying to express and getting nothing (or getting 10ml and promptly knocking the container over on the kitchen table...- can you tell I am talking from experience)....do you not give your baby a formula and just let them cry it out??? Come on, get real.
For the record - I posted before as Julie, but my post has been named as Anne Marie. And also for the record, I'm posting this from Scotland. And finally, my baby had formula, in hospital, on his second nighT...HEAVEN FORBID GIVEN TO HIM BY A NURSE - and guess what HE IS FINE!!!!!

[Sofia]

Hi-
I have being pumping wxclusively for three weeks. My baby did not like to latch on form the beginning. I spend a lot of time pumping. I would like to do both formula and breast milk, but my husband disaprove of our baby getting formula because of all the additive in it. I am miserable abd feel guilty. I feel that I cannot have a social life because I have to pump at all time and when I am not pumping I am feeding the baby who digest the breast milk every hour. Also Also my nipples are sore.I do not know how to make my husband understand that I am having trouble and that it is not working for me.

[midwife and mama from new zealand]

hi julie, and others.midwife and mama from New zealand here. Yep, i sure have breastfed, for four years and counting(first daughter for 2 yrs, my 2 and a half yr old is still going.)So, in addition to my midwifery qualifications, I believe i am in a reasonable position to comment. The advice was not "medical claptrap" but research based,appropriate information every bf mother is entitled to have. You cannot be said to have made an informed decision to artificialy feed based on "breastfeeding wasn't working" unless you are aware of basic normal newborn behaivour and the physiology of milk production, which is what i advised on.This was the knowledge i perceived to have been lacking on reading the comments posted.It wasn't intended to be punitive, but helpful. In answer to your question, every woman in new zealand is entitled to, and receives, daily visits by a midwife every day for as long as needed, then weekly visits for up to 6 weeks.I guess in the US that level of support is not available. well, it should be.Breastfeeding is a feminist issue and a human rights issue. It is the first, and most significant health care choice a parent makes for their child(not a personal prejudice of mine, a world health org statement)Women need, and deserve, all support necessary to enable it.Woman who purely choose not to bf should conider the environmental and social effects of artificially feeding, (in addition to the health aspect,which many women seem to trivialize).(Pollution from packaging and production, etc)I am not posting all of this to be antagonistic!!I am a busy midwife and mummy and have better things to do than harass people. I am passionate about breastfeeding on many levels . women deserve full information: i have seen a deficit, and i respond. That is all.

[JulieO]

To Midwide and Mama. Fair enough, you are very well placed to comment on breastfeeding etc, however I do feel that in your capacity as a health professional and more importantly an experienced breastfeeder, you would show more empathy to the women who are posting on this site. As you will know it can be a very emotional time giving birth, not to mention the days that follow, and many of us can remain in a higher emotional frame of mind in these early days and months. If my breastfeeding councillor had suggested that I 'took a serious look at myself' and 'trust the cavewoman within', I think I would have seen her off the premises!! What I needed at that time (and what I got) was support and encouragement, balanced very carefully with relevant medical information. Whilst I am not questionning your skills as a midwife or mother, perhaps counselling is not your forte, or perhaps posting on a site like this should be left to those with a gentler way with words.

[Sebnem]

Thank you all for writing your experiences. I've been strugling since the first day. First of all he never latched on, so it was a very painful experience for both of us for the first two weeks. Then I decide to continue with pumping instead of giving up. 8 times a day for 30 min... After going back to work on the 9th week, I started to supplement the breastmilk with formula and realized that both me and my little boy are happier and enjoying our feeding time together. Today he is 3 months old, and I decide to stop pumping. Sorry for being that bitter but, if anyone comes and tells me that she is pregnant, my first advice will be "never think of breastfeeding" because that was one of the worst and painful experiences that I had in 39 years (no latching on, not having enough milk, pain and crying while trying to breastfeed, not wet diapers for the first two days, nipple shields, cracked and bleeding nipples, 5 different lactation consultants' inconsistent advices, being diagnosed as having yeast infection without any physical check by a lactation consultant, feeling guilty, feeling a milk cow while pumping, etc). To me it's just not worthed.

[Jill Hore]

Hi all - your comments and stories have all saved my sanity (any my wee 9 week old girl) - there are so many mothers out there who feel exactly how I am feeling - should I stop, shouldn't I stop, what will people say, what will my Plunket nurse say ... and so on and so on .... hey what about my babies health, hang on what about my health and the stress free mum that my wee girl has now, after nine weeks of worry - there is light at the end of the tunnel

[Mackenzie]

Hi all - your comments and stories have all saved my sanity (any my wee 9 week old girl) - there are so many mothers out there who feel exactly how I am feeling - should I stop, shouldn't I stop, what will people say, what will my Plunket nurse say ... and so on and so on .... hey what about my babies health, hang on what about my health and the stress free mum that my wee girl has now, after nine weeks of worry - there is light at the end of the tunnel

[Corrine]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I BF my son for all of three days, and I hated each and every second of it. It got to where when I heard him cry, my blood would run cold. Having his mouth against my breast made me want to sling my son into the wall, no lie. Switching to formula was the best decision I made. I now have three healthy boys and a beautiful daughter, and I don't regret a damn thing.

[Kim]

I stopped breast feeding cold turkey and have only been doing it for 2 weeks. It is my 3rd child. The first child I breastfed for 6-8weeks, the second I made it 3 months. I am just really wanting my body back, and not have to worry about what I am eating or drinking could be affecting the baby. Time for me too, is limited, and I can't get anything done during the day. I do feel guilty about it but am working through that. My last feeding was yesterday and I haven't even pumped I just want to be done with it before I change my mind. She is doing fine on the bottle , with the formula. My pain however is next to unbearable. I have been taking the tylenol 3's left from the delivery all day and I hope there wont be to many more days of this pain. I am affraid if I pump my supply will not quit and it will go on forever, but this pain is terrible.

[Tash]

Gosh! What a long list of comments! I have a 7 week old little boy and have been pumping since he was born due to the fact that he would not latch on. We tried and tried but it was just not happening...I have had so many different people try to get him on, all with their own technique, none of which worked! I have been deciding whether or not to stop pumping for the last week or so and have finally decided to quit. It was getting silly to be honest. I didn't have time to do anything because when I wasn't feeding I was pumping and really found it hard to leave the house, which was not doing myself or the baby any good. I am just starting to get to the painful part now...I have taken some mild painkillers and I am hoping it won't last too long! I do feel guilty and its nice to hear I am not the only one but I think sometimes you have to weigh up the pro's and con's for your personal situation and make the decision that suits you.

[Elicia]

So what happened when you stopped... I have done this before, but it was nine years ago and while this baby looks just like his big brother he acts like his father, he eats too fast and most of what he gets from nursing comes right back up. With the formula it stays down, fills him up, and gives me back some of the time during the day! I've already done laundry and dishes and it's noon! Back to my questions... your breasts become full, hurt like crazy, and what just tuff it out?

[Stormy]

When I quit, I got very engorged and it hurt some but not as bad as it seems to for some.

I fed Caleb twice the first day I quit and then the next day I pumped just a very small amount a could of times. Just to let the pressure off. (If you pump too much you'll keep producing.)

[Renee]

This is a great forum. It is nice to hear some good information from REAL women on deciding to stop breastfeeding before the recommended 6-12 months.

I too had a horrible experience breastfeeding. Everyone in the hospital had different advice. One nurse told me to supplement because my baby wasn't getting any milk (after the colostrum was done) and was having crystals in her diaper while the lactation nurse told me that was BS and to just have faith. Well, I ended up supplementing a little when I got home from the hospital until my milk came in (about a week later!). My baby was definitely dehydrated – she wasn’t peeing very much or pooping and her lips were so dry. It broke my heart! When my milk finally started coming in I would nurse around the clock - it was SO HARD! My baby girl had no trouble latching but would fall asleep often or act hungry but then just use me for a pacifier. So I would typically nurse for an hour before she would fall asleep. Before I knew it, she wanted to nurse again! I cried and cried, many times during the middle of the night because I was exhausted and my breasts and nipples hurt so much.

I decided to give my baby one bottle of formula every night at about 2-1/2 weeks old. After 4 weeks I quit nursing and pumped every 3-4 hours. I also was giving my baby 3 bottles of formula a day so my husband could help. Now my baby is almost 2 months old and is only getting one bottle of breast milk a day. I am pumping every 8 hours and am ready to stop completely. She is doing great on formula and I am so happy to be almost done pumping.

I also wanted to say that my baby developed some bad sleeping habits because of breastfeeding. She would typically fall asleep on my breast after she was done, so that is what she got use to doing. Especially during the middle of the night when I would also fall asleep while she was nursing. My husband and I have been working with her very hard to get her to sleep without being on or right next to one of us. It is hard work but I know we will get through it.

I can honestly say that stopping to breastfeed was the best decision for me. It was physically and emotionally draining. Everyone is different – but if you are considering stopping than don’t beat yourself up. Formula today has come a long way since 30 years ago when my mother gave me and my sister formula and we are as healthy as can be! Give yourself a LOT of credit for even trying the breastfeeding! A ton of Mommas DON'T! As one of my friends told me, “Put those boobs back in a pushup and pat yourself on the back. You done good! You are a fabulously devoted Momma. Now hand the bottle off to others so they can help with a lot of the feeding - it's a wonderful time to bond!”

[Talia]

Thank you for writing this!!

My son is 4 weeks old on Thursday and I've had 4 that's FOUR episodes of mastitis already. How could this be possible? I truly don't know why this is happening, nor do the doctors. I'm on my fourth course of antibiotics, which appear to be unresponsive now. I truly can't take this anymore. I am obviously immune-suppressed and I need to get some sleep and rest or I'm never going to get better.

My husband and I made a decision to switch to formula so I can be a mother to our son. I cried and cried and cried about this decision, but I know this is the best one for us. There must be a reason I am getting so sick - the fevers, pain and antibiotics are not helping my son at all. Although it may be more expensive to formula feed, I am confident that this is the best decision for us. I did enjoy breastfeeding - it was all those great things BF advocates say, but medically, it just doesn't make sense for us. I need to be a mother and that's far more important than whether or not I'm feeding my son breast milk.

Besides, for all those who have stopped breastfeeding, we are still FEEDING our children - not starving them! To hell with the guilt! Geez. :)

[tonya]

This website is like a dream to me. My daughter is 13 days old and I have been breastfeeding ever since she was born with an occassional formula bottle in there every once in awhile. She flips from breast to bottle just fine. Last night I decided (quite tearfully) to quit breastfeeding for all of the million reasons listed above (number one being that I only produce about 10oz a day). The la leche league consultant said that i MIGHT be able to increase my milk supply after 3-4 days of straight nursing, but who has 3-4 days for a gamble like that? I also have a 3 yr old that needs her mom too---- and I feel like all I do is nurse. I cried and cried and cried over the decision as I feel defeated and I love the bond that the baby and I shared during nursing, but the emotional stress I was enduring was not worth it for me or the rest of the family. I was so glad to see that this site was here. I was actually looking for HOW to stop breastfeeding as I stopped cold turkey and my breasts are HUGE and sore and overflowing today. I did let the baby nurse for about 2 mins on each side just now to relieve some pressure in my nipples--- ahhhhhh that was like a dream. I guess I'll do that every once in awhile for a few days until I start to dry up. Ladies-- thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone.... :O)

[Amy]

Hi all, like so many others who have stumbled across this page I'm so so relieved that I am not alone and that so many others feel exactly the same way I do. What I hate is the look every single health professional seems to give you when you tell them you are not exclusively BF or BF at all. They can really make you feel so inadequate and that you're the worst mum in the world! That post from 'Cavewoman within' really p*ssed me off too. Just when you thought you'd found a safe place where you can vent, one of them infiltrates....
Anyway, I had 2 episodes of mastitis in the first couple of weeks, touch of the baby blues, and a 3 year old to consider too. One thing I'm so grateful for was my mother's words of wisdom and encouragement, telling me that no one's gonna give me a medal for BF and I should not feel guilty at all. If it's so unbearable you should stop, she won't starve and others can also have the pleasure of feeding the baby too. That was a few weeks ago, and I think now, after finding this wonderful website, minus Cavewoman from NZ, I have finally made peace and decided to stop breastfeeding my beautiful baby girl. She's healthy, she's strong and as babies pick up on the smallest of vibes you give off, allowing myself to be sane and happy and healthy again is the best gift I can give her, my son and my family as a whole! Thanks everyone for sharing your stories :o)

[Christy]

I'm glad I found this website. My daughter is a month old now and I've been BF her the whole time. At first she wouldn't latch on correctly and it made my nipples sore and cracked. I saw the lactation consultant and she showed me how to get her to feed correctly. I was so sore that I couldn't feed her for at least a day or two. I was told to put anti-biotic ointment on my nipples so they could heal. In that time I became engorged and my daughter didn't want to nurse. I tried pumping for the first few days and all I could get was an ounce of collostrum each time. I spent no time with my daughter the first few days, I was too busy trying to get something out of my breasts to releave the engorgment (crying the whole time). Well, un-beknownst to me, I have a "flat nipple". I had to see the consultant again because the cuts and cracks weren't getting any better and my daughter wanted nothing to do with the flat nipple. She gave me a nipple shield which helped to get the nipple to draw out, but my nipple isn't used to being "drawn out". It never healed right. Well, I kept putting my daughter to the breasts because I felt it would be better to keep trying. I was also getting a lot of pressure from my husband (who couldn't understand why I wanted to stop BF). I brought my daughter into the peds clinic the other day for a check-up because she kept crying all of the time. The doctor said that she wasn't getting enough breastmilk and she had lost a lot of weight. I was feeding her for 45 min every 2 hours. He said I would have to supplement. So, I did and she got less fussy. The only problem was she throwing up everywhere, all of the time. I changed her formulas and found that Similac Isomil Soy w/ Iron was best for her. I decided not to breastfeed yesterday because my nipples never healed. Even pumping causes pain. I pumped the other day and my nipples came out looking like chapstick. Now, after the chapstick look-a-like contest, I have an infection in one of my breast. Can you guess which one? Yeah, the one with the "flat nipple". I guess some things are just best left alone. I've quit "cold turkey" because I can't stand the intense nipple pain. I told my husband that by helping w/ feedings he can bond with our baby, too. That seemed to help things with him. I now have more time for my 5 yr old son as well. If breastfeeding didn't hurt so darn bad, I would still do it. Thank you for posting this. And for everyone else out there, do what is right for you and your sanity. At least you tried in the first place.

[Simone]

Hi all,
Thank you Stormy for posting this! I too could not find any info on how to stop breastfeeding without being bombarded with 'BREAST IS BEST' info. From the beginning I've had so many issues in trying to breastfeed. I was all gung ho that I would breastfeed my baby until 6 months and it would all go smoothly and wonderfully well because I did tons of research. Wrong! Since day one I've had sore, cracked and bleeding nipples, even with nurses and LC's helping me with latch-on. Turns out I have flat nipples. On top of that my daughter is a voracious sucker and I would cry everytime she woke for a feeding. I can't tell you how many hours I have spent crying and agonizing over breastfeeding. Since day four I have been pumping and even that is very painful! My daughter is 3 wks old today and I woke up this morning to a throbbing breast/nipple and thought to myself-I can't do this anymore. I am having constant plugged milk ducts that are incredibly painful. I have seen a variety of Lactation Consultants, spent an enormous amount of money on them, bought a $250 electric pump which doesn't really work for me, ended up renting a hospital pump which still hasn't increased my supply and causes me pain, not to mention other supplies/herbs and nothing is working. I feel I have truly done everything I can to try and make this work. I simply can't go through the pain of clogged ducts day after day. I massage, I put on heat packs, ice, salt water, you name it. I feel my daughter is really suffering as I get frustrated with her when she won't allow me time to pump. But isn't it all for her in the end? It's just not working for me, and I have to feel confident with my decision to stop. Thank you so much for posting this. It's really a relief to know there are so many mom's out there who are struggling like I am with this decision and I just wish the best of luck to you all!

[Simone]

I also found this article online which helps with suggestions on how to stop breastfeeding...

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Breastfeeding-1764/stop-breastfeeding-3.htm

[Amy]

Thanks so much! My little one is at 5 weeks and I'm weaning him this week. The relief from the time I've gained has been great...especially in the middle of the night. I think I may get to sleep over an hour straight this weekend because my DH can now take over some of the feedings. I've gained back a lot of my sanity and think I am taking better care of him now than when I was a breastfeeding zombie. We'll also be travelling a lot this month and having him on formula will make that a lot easier.

And as far as mama and midwife goes, we were told by our pediatrician to supplement. He told us our son would let us know if he was still hungry and this would be good to get him "cross-trained" (his word!). So, not all medical professionals out there agree that formula is evil. Babies this young don't cry because they're trying to manipulate; they cry because they need something from you. Thank God formula now exists in our day so we can fulfill more of our babies' needs.

I'd love to read more about the info someone posted above that babies get the best stuff in the first 6 months. (What I really want to know is how much different will it be since I'm just past a month?)

[Natalie]

I really appreciate your honesty about this issue. Today I made the decision to stop breastfeeding after 11 wks. and it is a hard one but I know that it is the right thing for me and my family. Noah is my second child and it has been very hard to breastfeed and handle my other child, a very active four year old. I only breastfed my first for three weeks and I was determined to stick it out this time for at least six months, but I realize that it's better for every one that I stop now. Also, I know I'll be returning to work in the fall and pumping at work is not an option. Anyways, it made me feel a lot better just to know that there are other mothers who love their children struggling with this issue. Best wishes to all the Moms and babies!

[Suzonna]

Thank you for posting your comments. I am a first time mother and my son just turned 4 months old. He was breast fed for his first week of his life. We had a lot of problems getting him to stay interested in it. I was determined to do this, so I've been pumping my milk since he was a week old and bottle feeding him with it. He took to the bottle great. I have supplemented with formula half of the time to see if he would take it. No problems. When I returned to work, I continued to pump, however I had a lot of problems with my co-workers. I work with all women and breast feeding in public would not have bothered me, but I want to be alone and relax when I pump at work. Some of my very curious co-workers would walk in on me all the time! I know they were just curious, but come on! Finally a manager offered me his office that has a lock on it. I was off work again for about a month and a half. Still pumping! It's a hassle, but I wanted my son to have the best. I feel quilty that I want to quit just because I'm going back to work, reading all these comments has helped. I agree-a happy mother is better. I also wanted to have a natural birth, but when contractions came I called for the drugs-which I don't regret! My advice: do what feels right to yourself and don't worry about what other people say or think.

[Karen]

I want to stop breastfeeding now, after 2 weeks. My biggest problem is that my breasts are a size E and I'm very short. They are very heavy. At night, if I try to sleep 6 hours, my bed and shirt are soaked with milk. As for my size problem, no nice shirts fit me really, and I have to go back to work soon. My nipples are inverted, so I've been pumping every 3 hours except when I sleep and my husband watches over -- that feeding is formula.

I couldn't find any information on "how to stop" either before finding this site. Thanks. I've been told to use cabbage leaves for 20 minutes twice per day, and wrap a "postpartum belly wrap" around my breasts with cold packs stuffed in there. Sounds painful. I go back to work in 2 weeks, so I think I will start reducing soon and skipping more breast feedings.

[chris]

I am so glad to see this post. I have beeb BF for 3 1/2 weeks, and when I went to my Dr yesterday, I broke down in tears, and told him I was so stressed about BF that it was taking a toll on my hubby and my 20 month old. I'm sure it was affecting the baby, too.

I stopped cold turkey last night, and I am IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!! how long does the pain last? My dr said not to pump even a little bit...ugh!

[Stormy]

Whether or not to pump a little bit I think depends on whether you want a lot of pain for a short time or a slightly less amount of pain for a slightly longer time. I pumped just a bit. (Don't let the baby nurse though - mine got really mad when I made him stop early!)

I think it took me two days to dry up.

[Erica]

My son is 5 months old next week and was exclusively breastfed for 3 months while I was home with him. When I returned to work I continued to nurse him morning and evening; he receives 2 bottles of pumped milk and 2 bottles of formula while I'm away from him. I am experiencing intense feelings of guilt because I have been producing less and less milk each time I pump (3-4 times/day). When I first returned to work I could express 7oz. at a sitting. After a week at work it dropped to 4oz. The past few weeks I have dropped to 3oz. Last night I got 1oz. I know he's not getting enough from me because he now always drains both breasts (before he only ever drained one) and cries for more. I loved breastfeeding. We never had problems with it. Working full time and not getting proper nutrition or sleep so I can spend my time away from baby pumping is taking it's toll. I sleep 5 hours/night so I can get one extra pumping session in. I use my lunch and break at work to pump and eat whatever I can in the time it takes to ride the elevator up to the room I pump in. I have one months supply frozen, which I plan to begin using. I hope to continue to bf him morning and evening, but will have to give a bottle as well, I'm sure. It breaks my heart - I was fed formula and am perfectly healthy. I know 5 months of breastmilk was a good start for him, but it's the physical bonding I am going to miss. He really likes nursing over the bottle and so do I. I have come up with so many pros and cons for both arguments. The reality is that as a full-time working mom, it's just not working anymore. Every day of the two months I've been working has been a struggle. I drag my pump and supplies to work every day and there isnt' a day that passes that I don't worry about my milk supply. I feel that I'm mourning this in a way. After reading all your posts I suppose I should be celebrating how easy it was for both myself and my son and the 5 months we made it. He began eating cereal a month ago and began eating babyfood today, so I guess I reached my original goal of breastfeeding until babyfood. I think as mothers we are all too hard on ourselves...a good friend told me when I became a mother that no matter how much I do for my child, I will always feel like I need to do more to be a really good mother. I think our children all think we're great no matter what we do. Working, stay-at-home, breast or bottle feeding, single parent or married. I think in all of our cases, the decision we make to stop breastfeeding will be harder on us than it will on our children. God Bless you all and give you peace in your decisions ~

[mom2ashley]

I am soooo glad that I came across this site cause like all of you, I was also looking for info on how to stop BFing. I had just given birth to our 2nd child and like the 1st, I tried BFing a few days and gave up and started to express the milk instead due to sore nipples etc. I actually dread feeding time cause that's when I had to bite my lip and endure the pain during BFing. Anyway, I am thinking of stopping expressing my milk after 1 month and like all of you, I too have mixed emotions about it. Like many, I feel guilty as though I am depriving my child of all the goodness of BM but on the other hand - expressing my milk is just eating so much of my time! If I am not tending to the baby, I am expressing milk! I feel so much better after reading this. Thanks everyone!

[keren]

well fed my first daughter for 18 months, my second 12 months.... but my son who is now 14 weeks old i have decided to stop, painful as this is and guilty as i feel, breastfeeding just doesnt fit in with my life now... i dont believe i am doing wrong,surely it is better for the whole family to be happy, which you cant be with a tired stressed mother around! been 3 days now and he is doing ok on the bottle, i need to do what makes me happy.... so do you!!!

[Melissa]

My daughter is what the lactation consultants call a slow-gainer. She is not latching on very well and seems to get frustrated when we have to go through the routine. I am also frustrated and worried that she is not getting a lot from me. I am not enjoying it either. I thought I would but I just can't bring myself to go through with it. After 2 weeks I've decided to quit and every web site I've visited has made me feel guilty about my decision. This post has made me realize that there are others out there like me. My friend told me that being a new mom is hard enough without the added stress of nursing. I'm so happy that I came across this post in my search, thank you for making me feel better about my decision.

[Feel guilty]

hey,

My son is now 6 month and 2 week old. He never latched on to me right from the beginning. Thanks to the electric pump, i could still give him breast milk. But after he was 4 months old we gave him around 600ml of breat milk and introduced aroubd 240ml of formula. He didnt seem to have any issues with the formula.

But i am now thinking of weaning off, because it puts a lot of restrictions on my day today activites. Plus next month i am visiting India and will be in flight for 36 hrs. What do i do during those 36hrs? I cant use an electric pump in the flight and my son doesnt latch on to me.

However i am feeling extremly guilty. I know that breast milk is considered best for my baby and i am still capable of producing 400ml of milk everyday (the rest is substituted with formula and solids). So will i be causing harm to my baby's health? I wont be able to forgive mself, if my baby would fall sick frequntly after i stopped giving him breast milk. is this just a myth of mine? is 6 - 7 months enough ?

[Choosing family]

I cannot express how much all these postings have meant to me! They totally expressed how I feel!!! I just had baby number two and she started off wonderfully breastfeeding. I was using nipple shields when I left the hospital to help her latch on. She then needed them all the time. Then for whatever reason, two nights ago, she stopped latching on all together. I considered consulting a lactation specialist, but as I had gone through this with baby number one, and had so much guilt and so much trouble, I just decided to stop altogether. It is a very hard decision, full of guilt, and subject to other's opinions and judgements. But, overall, I needed to make a decision that would allow me to be there for my 2 year old, my husband, and myself. The sleep deprivation, the pain, the frustration, the feeling of failure every time they would not latch on...well, it just meant so much more to be able to be more sain and have more emotional time to bond with my new baby. Reading all these email have made me know even more I made the right decision and more importantly, that I am not alone!! Now if I could just get my baby to sleep longer at night : )

[Choosing family]

I cannot express how much all these postings have meant to me! They totally expressed how I feel!!! I just had baby number two and she started off wonderfully breastfeeding. I was using nipple shields when I left the hospital to help her latch on. She then needed them all the time. Then for whatever reason, two nights ago, she stopped latching on all together. I considered consulting a lactation specialist, but as I had gone through this with baby number one, and had so much guilt and so much trouble, I just decided to stop altogether. It is a very hard decision, full of guilt, and subject to other's opinions and judgements. But, overall, I needed to make a decision that would allow me to be there for my 2 year old, my husband, and myself. The sleep deprivation, the pain, the frustration, the feeling of failure every time they would not latch on...well, it just meant so much more to be able to be more sain and have more emotional time to bond with my new baby. Reading all these email have made me know even more I made the right decision and more importantly, that I am not alone!! Now if I could just get my baby to sleep longer at night : )

[Lori]

I don't have children but we are planning to in the near future. It's nice to see advice about not bf. People that lash out at others for not doing it probably never went through what some of the posters here have gone through. I would like to try one day for as long as I can stand it, but I've also heard that even a few weeks worth of bf produces long-term good effects. I've seen lots of mom's go through all of these feelings and switch to formula. I don't understand how someone could say "keep going" when your baby is STARVING due to lack of production. Give that child some formula for goodness sake. As for "cave mama", I think it's rude to keep posting on a site that you have already agreed to disagree on. Leave these moms alone!

[Jojo]

Thanks for the forum here, as I'd like to vent a little angst.

I'm someone who pumps every day bc I could never get our baby to latch on well. She's 4 months now. The only thing keeping me going is that I love her and will try what I can for her, and saying to myself that I'm a third of the way to the one year mark already. If I feel like stopping before then, I know that I've tried to give her the best I could and I think it's no one else's business what I do - it's part of my relationship with her.

Common sense tells me that it's crazy to think it's so critical that she be kept away from formula for the first year. She's probably going to have vitamin supplements (like many healthy adults do) one day, so what's the big deal?

As for trusting the opinion of the medical community, just remember that this was the same group that told us all to keep our babies on their tummies at one time (now this is linked to SIDS), and also told us all at one time to feed formula instead of breastfeeding (in that sense, aren't they in part to blame for the lost knowledge and support for how to breastfeed in our parents' generation? It's ironic that they are now pointing fingers at us for not being able to do it). Finally, I'd like all of those female pediatricians that worked full time for a whole year while exclusively breastfeeding or pumping to please come forth and share the secrets of your success so that I can understand why you so easily put forth this notion that it's what every woman should be doing!

[relieved]

I am praising God that i found this site. i too have been having all of these crazy feelings about breastfeeding and wanting to stop. My son is 3 weeks today and I have been miserable. I have been sick with UTI, yeast infection, hemmroids, and fever blisters since coming home with him. I feel like my body is shutting down. I cry all the time and hate feeding time. My nipples are sore and my son has had some trouble with latching and detaching for several minutes before actually feeding. He also shacks his head while feeding, which feels like he is trying to pull off my nipple. Talk about painful. So, with all this said, last night at midnight I decided to stop breastfeeding. Last week I had to stop for three days so I could take medication to clear up the UTI, so I know he will take formula. However, the guilt is overwhelming. I am actually a pediatric nurse practitioner and have actually taught women how important it is to breastfeed. The wonders of breastmilk, how could I possibly consider stopping. Reading the same emotions that have been running through my mind has been so helpful. I have hated the negative feelings I have had each time my son was hungry. Not being able to just hold him because he roots the entire time I am near. I have not told my friends that I am stopping for fear of judgment. However, for the first time in 3 weeks, I am happy. I slept last night while my mother feed the baby. I am sitting with my son, who is content, and enjoying a peaceful morning.

[Corey]

When I had my son in December 2004, I searched and searched for a site like this, and would end up in tears every day as all I could find was "breast is best" propaganda. My son was a miserable nurser and I cringed every time I had to feed him. It was horrible. I went cold turkey at 3 months - sports bra, cabbage leaves, cold packs, no showers for three days - and ended the madness.
So why in the world did I start breastfeeding my daugther who is 11 weeks now? The guilt. However breastfeeding her has been easy as could be. She was a natural. So it's not just the mom - it's the baby, too. However, I work full time and have to go back in two weeks, and I also have to travel for my job, so continued breastfeeding will not be an option. I am trying to wean her gradually and it is absolutely KILLING me. Plugged ducts, mastitis... I may have to cold turkey her as well, but am dreading the pain!!!
My son, incidently, who was only breastfed for 3 mos is the picture of health. My 3 year old nephew never received a drop of breastmilk and is also fine.
Both of my children have had no problem taking a bottle, taking a bottle from me, taking formula, switching back and forth...I think the sites that try to guilt us about how stopping impacts baby are full of bs. Maybe if the child is older it's different, but a 2-3 month old just wants to eat.

[Corey]

When I had my son in December 2004, I searched and searched for a site like this, and would end up in tears every day as all I could find was "breast is best" propaganda. My son was a miserable nurser and I cringed every time I had to feed him. It was horrible. I went cold turkey at 3 months - sports bra, cabbage leaves, cold packs, no showers for three days - and ended the madness.
So why in the world did I start breastfeeding my daugther who is 11 weeks now? The guilt. However breastfeeding her has been easy as could be. She was a natural. So it's not just the mom - it's the baby, too. However, I work full time and have to go back in two weeks, and I also have to travel for my job, so continued breastfeeding will not be an option. I am trying to wean her gradually and it is absolutely KILLING me. Plugged ducts, mastitis... I may have to cold turkey her as well, but am dreading the pain!!!
My son, incidently, who was only breastfed for 3 mos is the picture of health. My 3 year old nephew never received a drop of breastmilk and is also fine.
Both of my children have had no problem taking a bottle, taking a bottle from me, taking formula, switching back and forth...I think the sites that try to guilt us about how stopping impacts baby are full of bs. Maybe if the child is older it's different, but a 2-3 month old just wants to eat.

[Sarah]

I'm so glad I found this site. My daughter never really nursed well. After about 5 weeks I started pumping and giving her breastmilk in a bottle. This was working fo awhile but she's now 7 months old and crawling and into everything and I just don't have the time to be tethered to a machine for 20 minutes. I've got a ton of frozen milk so I'd really like to stop, but I don't know the best way to do it. I'm an OB nurse and have talked to every lactation specialist that I work with and none of them have really answered that question for me.

[Sheila]

I am so glad I found this site. I have been struggling with breastfeeding from day 1. I had an emergency c-section, my son spent 2 days in NICU, and my milk was slow to come in. On top of that, I had trouble with not enough milk, so I had to supplement from the beginning. I have tried everything to continue breastfeeding, SNS, herbs, Domperidone, oatmeal, pumping and pumping, and then pumping some more. I am so exhausted. Now, at 5 months, my son has weaned himself from breastfeeding. He would scream every time I tried. So now I am pumping all the time, but find it very hard, and it takes away time with my son. I am feeling so guilty about quitting, but I think I need to for my own sanity. Thank you for the information. And to the woman that said that she worked with Australian Aboriginals, and they never had problems and it is all our own fault for low milk supply, how can you be so calus. I have literally tried everything I can think of to increase my supply, and nothing worked to the point that I could not give some supplement. Maybe you should consider other people and their situation before posting such remarks!

[Caroline L]

Thanks for posting this its so nice to see that others are going through the same dilema as me.

I tried to BF my first daughter but she was so sleepy from Jaundice she was a very lazy feeder and I was severely aneamic so my milk supply wouldn't establish. so we switched to bottle after 12 days..

With my second daughter i tried to BF again and at first it looked promising she was feeding ever 1-2 hours day and night and was appearing satiated after feeds she was producing wet and dirty nappies but she was LOSING weight rather than gaining, which was a huge blow as I understood my first daughter not gaining as she hardly fed but my second daughter (now 4 weeks old) was feeding constantly but losing weight.

So we started to do top-ups but she started to then get really fussy at the breast and after a week or this I decided to switch to the bottle as the anxiety of whether she was getting anything at the breast was really dragging me down!

I was expressing for a while but on one sitting I expressed 4oz and it appeared to be all foremilk! so i lost faith in that too

Amy pretty engorged at the moment but hope it'll calm down soon..

I have to remind myself that my first daughter who is 20 months now is healthy, bright and happy so my feeding choices have done her no harm

[Lisa I]

I am also so grateful to see these postings and know that I am not alone in feeling guilty and disappointed, but relieved at my decision to stop trying to use my breast milk. I had twins at 34 weeks with pre-eclampsia, they were fine except needed to grow in the NICU for a couple weeks, but that was enough to get them used to a bottle nipple. My production was never that great even with pumping every 2 hours. I had gained about 20 pounds of water weight in the last several weeks of the pregnancy from the preeclampsia and afterwards the water weight rapidly came off...and then I kept losing weight which I thought was still water weight. I had basically no appetite though and so it was not just water I was losing. This may have contributed to poor milk production too, but the biggest factor I think was STRESS over trying to nurse and SLEEP DEPRIVATION. My Mom would even help bottle feed at night (the babies have bad reflux so feeding is a 60-90 minute session) so I would just wake up to pump and go back to bed, and then I'd feel bad at not being the one to feed them. After mastitis, the poor output, trying to stimulate by putting them to the breast with the SNS (supplement nursing system) contraption and nipple shields, and basically doing nothing but pumping and nursing for several weeks, I decided to stop. With more rest I have started to eat more, so I think the low appetite was exhaustion not postpartum depression. Thanks to all the moms who have affirmed their babies are fine not breastfeeding. My little ones are 5 weeks old now and I am hoping I can say the same in several months!

[SC]

I just had my first baby boy on June 21, 2007 and have been in an emotional roller coaster since he was born. I had not been enjoying motherhood at all due to breastfeeding issues (sore nipples, inproper latch on, difficulty in meeting his hungry demands every hour or 1.5 hours, no sleep at all, and not being able to take care of myself). I had hired a Lactation Consultant and spent $200 (US Dollars) and went through numerous exercises with her which didn't work or make the breastfeeding any easier. I also bought a breast pump (another $300) and could not find time to pump regularly so was afraid I would not be able to produce enough milk for my baby's next feeding. Also, I felt that everything I ate was bothering my baby b/c he was having horrible gas and pains after feedings. It is now 2 weeks after his birth and since yesterday, I have only been giving him formula (nestle goodstart) and it has been a world of difference. I'm grateful to hear that there are other women out there like myself!

[JM]

Thank you for posting all this information on a website for women to read. I am a practicing physician who just had my first child in May 2007. I know the benefits of breastfeeding like decreasing the risk of GI, respiratory, and ear infections as well as decreasing the risk of obesity and providng a child with a higher IQ. So, obviously, I tried breastfeeding. My baby would latch on, but unfortunately would bite down with her gums which are made of bone!!! I was in tears with each feed. I went to lactation specialists for help and was in more pain after the consultations. So, I decided to pump my milk and bottle feed my child. I was pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock even when my child and husband slept!!! I had to set an alarm clock to wake up on time. I was always tired. I could not leave the house without my pump (I even had to pump in restroom stales!!). After 6 weeks of soley pumping, my nipples cracked. I used special "healing" creams which did not work well b/c my nipples needed to rest from the constant friction/pressure from the pump. Over 2 weeks, I extended the pumps to every 4 hours which was against the advice of my lactation specialist's advice, but still produced 5 ounces a feed. My freezer is a milk production factory. After 7 weeks, i am trying to stop this craziness!!! I have been told to drop a feed every 5 days which leaves me engorged with blocked ducts. The reason why I am writing this note is to inform woman that the benefits of breastfeeding is ONLY good while they are breastfeeding. The risk of infections like GI/respiratory/Ear decreases only while getting breast milk so if you breastfeed for 1 month vs 3 months...the later person, only protects her child by an additional 2 months compared to the person who breastfed for 1 month. Also, the higher IQ is only if you breastfeed for 6 months straight and the higher IQ is by 2 points!!! (a bad day on the medical board exam can make me lose 2 points!!!) Is this enought info to make it worth the craziness, the pain, and the tears of breastfeeding??? Not for me anymore!!! I still have at least another month of pumping before this nightmare is over b/c I still have another 5 feeds to drop. I applaud all those women who can breastfeed till 1 year of age. So far, I have spoke to many female doctors as well as other childbearing women...NOT one person has had a joyous experiencing breastfeeding, but I still tilt my hat to all mothers who can breastfeed their babies! Hope this information helps someone out there :)

[diversteph]

I delivered my baby on 5/28/07. He was 4 weeks early, but healthy. In the hospital, I had the nurses give him a bottle during the night(the nurse recommended so I could rest) and I tried to BF during the day. He would latch on every now and then, but most the time he would just sleep. After 3 days he developed jaundice and was always falling asleep at the breast. I could not wake him up for the life of me. I hated the whole BF experience. I pumped my milk and would only get a total of 3 oz with each pumping...sometimes 4 if I was lucky. BF and pumping, I felt like a factory. After a couple of weeks, I bought nipple shields to help him latch on and that worked right away. I also think the fact that he was bigger and stronger helped him to latch on also. I stopped the nipple shields after about 1 week. When baby was 4-5 weeks he wanted to eat about every hour. I did not know about the growth spurt. If I did I would have let him go on the breast when he wanted it. I did not know about the "supply and demand" aspect. At 5 1/2 weeks we took the baby up to our cabin. I felt trapped. I was depressed and felt that I could not do anything but feed the baby. My husband and I were/are fighting like crazy. I am sleep deprived. I am contemplating giving up the BF altogether and just give him formula. This past week we started giving formula at night, when he is fussiest and also began giving him some when he is still hungry after BF. He is fine with the formula. Today I almost gave up on BF. I feel so guilty. I spoke to the lact. consultant and she said she would rather me give some formula instead of giving up BF altogether. I just don't know what to do. I know I will be much happier giving up the BF, but I will also feel guilty about it. I know the BM is so much better for him. I am just tired of watching everything I eat, fighting with my husband, not sleeping, feeling trapped, sore nipples, what else????

[nadia]

WHEN MY SON WAS BORN ALMOST 5 YEARS AGO I BREASTFED HIM FOR 2 MONTHS AND FELT NO GUILT AT ALL FOR QUITING. MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN 2 WEEKS AGO AND AFTER CRACKED AND BLEEDING NIPPLES, CLOGGED DUCTS AND SEEING 2 LAC CONSULTANTS I DECIDED TO JUST PUMP. THE REAL PROBLEM WAS I WAS PUMPING FOR 20 MIN EVERY 2 HRS THEN FEEDING HER AND DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO TAKE CARE OF MY SON. I'VE SPENT DAYS CRYING OVER THIS UNTIL YESTERDAY WHEN I DECIDED TO GO COLD TURKEY AND EVEN THOUGH I'M ENGORGED I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH BOTH MY KIDS!!

[amy]

thank you so much for posting this! i have a 3 week old (caleb!) and ive nursed exclusively for those 3 weeks. it turns out i dont love it - i almost resent the feedings and i have not been able to find anyone or any site that was supportive of me stopping "just because". i almost wish there was a REASON to quit. but, like you, i have enough milk, caleb is latching on and eating fine, gaining lots of weight and all that :) im just going nuts nursing him for an hour at a time - every three hours. my boobs cant take it!

so thank you again for helping to let me know that im not alone out here, and that im not a bad mother for not wanting to continue on like this. the links you offered have helped a lot. :)

[tg]

I am so glad I found this web site and have read all your postings. My daughter is 2 months and I have decided to stop feeding. It has been so hard to find information on how to care for your breasts if you decide to stop and this forum has been very helpful.

I made allot of newbie mistakes when trying to BF and I wonder if I could have prevented some of my problems had I knew then what I know now. I also spent money on a lac. consultant (who was a very wonderful person and I can't say enough about how wonderful she was). I wish I had seen my lac. consultant the day I was in the hospital that was my first mistake. If I had her in the beginning I think it would have gone better.

I had problems with latching my baby. She was chomping down on my nipple and I wasn't getting enough of the areola in her mouth. That went on for 3 days! I was in tears constantly because I was sure I wasn't doing it right. I dreaded feeding my baby, I didn't want to put her on my breast. I was on the brink of quiting then. My husband finally researched BF on the internet and found diagrams. He was so helpful and supportive in helping me latch the baby. But it wasn't until I saw my lac. consultant 7 days after my baby was born that I finally started to have no pain when latching. She instantly corrected all my problems.

I also didn't know about the growth spurt thing and didn't understand why my baby wanted to feed every hour in that first week. My fear was that I had no milk and she was starving. And as it turned out in my case she was starving! I was only producing half of what she needed. So we had to begin supplementing her with formula. I started to pump my breasts exclusively not long after that and I was only pumping at best 12 ounces a day, about 2 ounces per pumping. My baby being a 9 pounder needed 22-24 ounces of food a day.

Then to add insult to injury my period returned at the 6 week mark. When my period returned I was only pumping 4 ounces a day. I asked my doctor if my milk would return and he said that it could when my hormone levels changed after my period was over. He was very supportive and gave me a very knowing expression and said "it hardly seems worth it for 4 ounces, huh?". He encouraged me to wait a few days after my period before I made a final decision. I was going to keep pumping if my 12 ounces a day returned, but it has not. At best I've been getting 5 ounces.

I hate giving up and I don't quit easily on things. I too feel so guilty, like my body has failed, like I have failed. This is going to keep bothering me for some time I think.

[kicki]

thank you! I have to make the decision soon...

My 11 month old Daughter has been breastfed since birth and it has been a roller coaster the whole time. She did well after my sister showed me exactly how to get her to latch on and I told myself that if I could make it to 6 months then I would be so proud of myself. Everything went well when I stopped pumping and after 3months my nipples stopped hurting, bleeding etc... I wanted to quit breastfeeding but now the doctor told me that she has failure to thrive. She eats 7 times a day and has some table food in between. When she nurses though it is only for 3-4 min on each breast at a time. At night, we do give her breastmilk in a bottle and that is 6-7 ozs. plus cereal. I only think that she is getting 2-3 ozs. at her breastfeeding sessions during the day. Lately she has been refusing to nurse and refusing the bottle. I tried to figure it out and I think that she is only getting around 20 ozs. and day. The pediatrician is telling me to give her more table food but I feel that the milk is more important. I'm changing her diapers more out of the smell of urine than the fact that they are really wet. She may have two or three really wet diapers a day. He sent her for blood work and they found out that her platelet count was high and something with her Thyroid was high. But he said that as long as she was happy and meeting milestones, they aren't going to do any more tests for a while and see if she gains weight on her own. When she was born she was 7lbs 10ozs and she weighs now 17 and half lbs at 11 months. She started out at the 50th percentile and has gradually made it down to 10th percentile. I'm so concerned that something is really wrong and I don't want her to end up in the hospital. It is such a fight for her to nurse or take a bottle, it is like she is never hu